this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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