check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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