HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize