So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize