She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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