i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Randomize