Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
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It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
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I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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