you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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