I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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