is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
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Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
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