I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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