please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
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just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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