well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize