If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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