either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
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