You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize