I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize