dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize