Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize