I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
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She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize