I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I think im going to throw up on grandma
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize