You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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