i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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