I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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