yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just cut my nipple shaving
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize