so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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