And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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