I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
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Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
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I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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