Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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