No stitches, just platelets and will power
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize