his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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