I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize