I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
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It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
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Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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