your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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