Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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