I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize