the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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