Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
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Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
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I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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