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yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
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