A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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