i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
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Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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