it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize