People in love make me want to vomit
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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