he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
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Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
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Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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