I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
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Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
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The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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