How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize