Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize