Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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