There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize