well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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