My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i barfeds in our rink
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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